Lessen the Stress This Holiday Season December 13, 2023 Here come the holidays, ready or not! Whether you feel delight or dread at the prospect of gathering with friends and family this season, you are not alone. “Holidays can often stir up a layered mixture of emotions from excitement and gratitude to worry and dread. While we travel, gather and celebrate, stress can often become an uninvited attendee of our activities,” said Psychologist Kiersten Kelly, PsyD, of Samaritan Medical Group Family Medicine – 26th Street. Maybe this year can be different. Here are some tips to boost the joy and lessen the stress: Have a Plan Determine which events you’ll attend and which ones you’ll skip. For the events you will host, create a plan. For the menu, for example, plot out what you can do ahead of time. Can something be made ahead and frozen? Can the appetizers or desserts be purchased this year? Enlist help from other family members. “It’s important to keep in mind that, as much as we wish we could, we cannot do everything and to hold realistic, achievable expectations for ourselves. Getting stuck in our perfectionism can really get in the way of our chance to connect and enjoy our time with loved ones,” Dr. Kelly said. Stick to Healthy Habits Avoid leaving healthy habits behind this season. “It is difficult to maintain our healthy habits during busy holidays and we don’t realize how much our healthy habits help us manage stress until something gets in the way of us doing them. Because holidays can be, ironically, exceptionally stressful, they’re times that we could benefit most from making sure we’re getting the nutrition, exercise, and other forms of self-care we need. Try to reserve time on your most hectic days to care for yourself,” Dr. Kelly advised. Derail Tension When family gets together, they often bring old resentments with them. Dr. Kelly suggests being prepared by having strategies in mind to mitigate tension. “One option could be to discuss boundaries with family and friends before events and ask that hot-button topics like politics or old arguments be left off the conversation menu. Having a plan for conversation redirection can also be helpful, when appropriate. Some options could include having photo albums available to direct attention to or asking your elders to share more about experiences or times in your family’s life you are curious about,” recommended Dr. Kelly. Plan Activities Participating in activities together can help build happy memories. If the weather is pleasant, plan an after-dinner walk or an outdoor game. Bring out the board games or family-friendly movies. Engage the kids in small art projects, games or creating silly videos. Be Aware of Grief If someone is absent from your life during holidays due to divorce, death, or other circumstances, expect that you and others may be feeling grief. “After losing a loved one or experiencing another type of significant loss, holidays can be an especially hard time,” explained Dr. Kelly. “It can be helpful to have a plan for how to take care of yourself or a loved one who has experienced a loss. Think about what you or they might need to make grief easier to hold, whether that be making room in your festivities to honor a lost loved one, having a quiet space to escape to, or just sharing the weight of grief with our supports.” Capture Thoughts & Feelings Consider writing your thoughts and feelings about the holidays in a journal as a way of working through any emotions that come up, or to recall memories of earlier times. You could also use a journal to capture things you are grateful for to look back on next year as the season comes around again. Look Forward Have something planned for yourself after the holidays that you can look forward to. “Sometimes we need a recovery period after all the running around we did during the holiday – a buffer between this busy time and returning to our everyday responsibilities. This could be any activity that gives us energy and joy, like meeting a friend for coffee, going for a hike, visiting a museum, or spending some time curled up with a good book,” suggested Dr. Kelly. Once the holidays are over, consider taking time to reflect on what went well and what you’d do differently next year. “Also, remember that the holidays mark the end of one year and the beginning of a new one,” Dr. Kelly noted. “This is a great time to celebrate and be grateful for all that went well during the past year, check-in on how we are feeling regarding losses and consider what goals we want to prioritize for the coming year. This is a great time to start that health habit we’ve been wanting to make and explore interests we may not have had room for during this past year.” Kiersten Kelly, PsyD, sees patients at Samaritan Medical Group Family Medicine – 26th Street. She can be reached at 541-768-8800.
